Despondent and Distraced BureBureBureBure
by HandshakeTramp
Summary: KaereKimura 木村 カエレ x MatoiTsunetsuki 常月 まとい , Based on personal experiences. Matoi has fallen for an unlikely victim and has no idea how to respond to or even approach the situation. She questions whether or not loving Kimura is entirely wise.
1. Chapter 1

**KaereKimura (****木村****カエレ****)x MatoiTsunetsuki (****常月****まとい****)**

Despondent and Distracted.

BureBureBureBure.

She's eccentric. Confusing. Beautifully complicated. Wonderfully intriguing. I can't even talk to her. I'm hiding.

Shhh.

She doesn't know I'm here, no one does. This wall is cold. I should probably move. Surely there are better vantage points.

Clack.

That's the front door, she must be leaving. I wonder where she's going? I'll soon know. Looking down and all I can see is an outfit that mirrors her own on a hideously unimpressive body. An unnecessarily short tartan skirt and a dark blue, silk shirt with the top few buttons completely removed for optimal cleavage. Not that I posses any to show off. I whip my head up. She's already around the corner.

Shit.

I really should pay more attention before I lose her. Peeking my head around the corner I notice her figure, lit up by the street lamps that light the narrow street and cast ebony shadows around her.

Sigh.

She's so gorgeous, we're wearing the exact same clothes but for some reason it just looks right on her, better. Her blonde hair tumbles around her slim shoulders, which seem perfectly level. She walks with an air of grace, her shoes making a soft scuffing noise on the pavement. Every so often I take a few steps closer, dodging behind pillars and post boxes, anything to hide me from her radiance.

Clink.

What was that? Huh? She's unchaining a bike. Crap, I'll never be able to keep up with her now. My mind whirs in a panic, my dependency aching at the thought of being separate from her. I watch as she speeds away, the dust from the spinning wheel being kicked up around me as I take a few more steps forward.

Cough.

Ack, I'm choking on a mixture of the tears and the dust that now clings to me. How did it get to this? Standing in the middle of a street at night, alone and confused. Pining after a girl who will never want me as I want her.

'N-not a stalker .. I just .. I just love her intensely.'

I remind myself of that fact every minute of everyday.

I should start at the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

**KaereKimura (****木村****カエレ****)x MatoiTsunetsuki (****常月****まとい****)**

Despondent and Distracted.

BureBureBureBure.

School had ended for the day and all around me my fellow classmates were rising from their desks and piling their various bits and pieces of educational equipment into their shoulder bags. I was sitting at my desk, which was right in front of the teacher's podium, usually I would be under his desk but recently he'd been kicking me during his spasms of despair. Sighing longingly as I gazed up at Sensei whom I adored to the point of accompanying him throughout his days, even on the weekends when most females my age would be out enjoying their youth. It didn't bother me; it satisfied me to be able to act as his wife. I always walked three steps behind him, as a good Japanese wife should. The reason for my devotion? This man had expressed the ultimate vow of love to me. He wished to die with me. Finally, some intense love that was requited.

SLAM.

I was rudely awoken from my lustful daydreams for Sensei as a heavy book collided with the wooden surface of my desk, making me lean back in surprise, my thin legs pushing my chair back, the metal legs of which screeched against the hard floors causing me and the majority of my classmates to cringe and whine. Looking up I saw a halo of flaxen hair framing a pale face that I knew oh so well.

'Eh, Kaede-chan?'

No, this wasn't Kaede, she would never be so audaciously presumptuous with her actions. This was Kaere, her foreign personality. I sighed in my own despair.

'Matoi-chan! You really should stop following that old fool around. It makes you look like a freak! A weirdo! In the country I just came from you'd be investigated by a secret service for such actions!' The voice that flowed from those angelic lips were harsh and in such a manner that I recoiled from her. I looked at my hands, which were clasped in my lap and waited for the wave of abuse to pass.

'I mean look at you! Dressed in that Kimono, seriously! What're you thinking? It doesn't flatter your figure at all! No boys will like you. But if you wear what I wear you'll have all the men at your feet.' She took a step back, twirling around, making her already short skirt flutter outwards the result being that it became more indecent resulting in an influx of male classmates piling back into the room for the daily dose of perversion they seemed to thrive on. I watched her with my olive eyes, scanning her figure with no real interest. It was true, she was a fine specimen, but she wasn't sensei. I gave her a simpering smile as I nodded slowly knowing that agreeing with her would free me faster. She concluded her display by walking around to the front of my desk so she blocked my view of Itoshiki sensei. She put her hands flat on my desk so she was bent at the hips giving me an unsightly obvious view of her cleavage. I gulped, her presence intimidating me as my gaze slowly travelled upwards to meet her own sapphire one.

'Also, you'll never get a guy if you follow them around like a lost dog, it's annoying! I'll teach you how to act if you want a real man!'

By this point I was beyond caring.

Swish.

That sound signalled Sensei attempting to leave the classroom swiftly before I had a chance to catch up to him. Fat chance, I was an expert at this by now.

'Yes, Kaere. I'll see you later for your so called lesson.'

Before she could answer I leapt to my feet, swung my bag over my shoulder and began to gallop after my love. My traditional wooden shoes crashed against the hard wooden floors of the school corridors and my loose kimono whipped around my legs.

I had no intention of going to Kaere for this 'lesson', I had just answered as she wanted so I could leave faster and with fewer complications. I wandered down the streets to Sensei's house and was shocked to find that my mind was wandering from the raven-haired pessimist and I began to think about the way I acted and if it was correct or not to have someone fully appreciate my love for them. Biting my bottom lip I resigned myself to wrench my attention away from my occupation for one day and that tomorrow I would take Kaere up on her proposition for her seduction lessons.

Maybe I had to change.


	3. Chapter 3

**KaereKimura (****木村****カエレ****)x MatoiTsunetsuki (****常月****まとい****)**

Despondent and Distracted.

BureBureBureBure.

I spent the whole of the next day tapping my pencil on my wooden desk.

ClackClackClack.

This earned me the occasional hiss of shushing from various people, mainly Chiri who was adamant that no one should be interrupted whilst trying to expand their minds. I paid little attention to her. I was nervous. I had caught up Kaere the previous evening and she had arranged for us to meet after school, needless to say this was a little unsettling, even for me. I had to tear myself away from Sensei tonight that would prove difficult. What if he found someone else? What If he killed himself without me? What if he even made a suicide pact with someone else? My heart ached to think about such notions. They were ludicrous ideas but one person's version of ridiculous is another's picture of sanity.

Brrrrrrrrring.

That was the bell. Signalling the end of the day. I looked up, watching my love dismiss his students, drinking him in, storing him in my mind so as to keep me going through the evening without him.

'Class Dismi-'

His eyes dropped to his desk for a moment. Our hearts sank collectively; we all knew what was coming. He threw his hands up into the air with a manic looks in his eyes and exclaimed:

'I'M IN DESPAIR, THIS ROUTINE HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!'

He slammed his head against the desk and we let our bags sink to the floor, we knew we'd have to listen to his explanation. I for one was glad that I had time to prepare for Kaere. I glanced in her direction and saw her slouched in her chair, shooting daggers at Itoshiki sensei. Maybe she'd threaten to sue him for detaining us beyond school limits. Chiri stood up, asking the question that was inevitable.

'Sensei, Why has the school routine left you in despair?'

She sat down once more as we awaited his next outburst.

'Because the same routine day in day out will slowly but surely brain wash us to the point that If we break out of this routine we will breakdown, have panic attacks and seek any form of order. In this way the government can take complete control of us. There will be no creativity, no poetry, and no art. Our imaginations will surely be quenched by the mundane and monotonous regime.'

He clutched at his tousled hair. He looked out at the sea of unenthused and disbelieving faces. Crying out in frustration he commenced to flee the room, undoubtedly for the school councillor's office. That was his usual haunt after one of his eruptions. We didn't hesitate to continue our normal routine after this. None of us were concerned by his notions and busied ourselves in our own lives.

I sat nervously my hands twisting and turning the sleeves of my kimono as I watched Kaere pack away her belongings. Kafuka came bounding to my side and I tried to focus my attention on her.

'Ah, Kafuka-chan, shouldn't you be getting home?'

Kafuka smiled at me, her dazzlingly white teeth fully displayed. She had such an infectious smile.

'Oh, no! Today I am joining you and Kaere-chan! The more the merrier, right?'

My face fell; the smile was wiped from my visage as my stomach tightened. As If this whole situation wasn't embarrassing enough now Kafuka was going to witness it too!? Groaning, I sank back in my chair, avoiding Kafuka's vivid eyes which seemed so innocent, so perfect. She had nothing wrong with her, no abnormality that differed her from the rest of humanity, except maybe that her over zealous optimism left her vulnerable and little naïve.

'Ready to go?'

Kaere's voice was shy and quiet, she had regressed into Kaede now, her coy ego. How exactly was she going to teach me her audacious ways if she was now even more timid than me? Nonetheless, I jumped to my feet, grabbing my bag and standing shoulder to shoulder with Kafuka as we looked up at the usually bold blonde. I nodded.

'Good, we'll be commencing today's lesson in the tearoom. Follow me, please.'

Shhhhack.

She slid open the door carefully and daintily. Within minutes we were outside the tea room, and once again Kaede slid open the door, which seemed to make very little noise at all, as if mirroring her now introverted personality. Stepping inside, Kafuka following me, I let my eyes drift across the room and let a smile creep across my face as I saw all the impressive cakes and intricately painted tea sets, this was Chiri's doing. I could tell because the cakes were divided exactly into three pieces and each cup had a line drawn on the inside so we all had exactly the same amount of tea.

Bangbang.

Both my optimistic friend and me dropped our bags and leapt at the food, our stomachs overpowering our minds and will power. I was happily stuffing my face with obscene amounts of sugary food when I felt a strong hand grasp the back of my collar and pulll me away from the table, I looked to my right to see Kafuka joining me in out backwards jolt.

'Girls, it's unseemly for Japanese women such as yourselves to be so self-indulgent.'

Her meek and soft voice was almost more irritating than her loud and brash one. I relaxed my muscles, stopped fighting her strength and turned around to face her bittersweet smile, I really don't know why I agreed to this.

It was going to be a long lesson.


End file.
